4 Parenting Styles

Every grandmother and grandfather will tell you hilarious stories of their children when they were first born. And for every funny and touching story they have, they will be able to tell you another for every hardship they encountered. Parenting is something that is done in many different ways by each parent. The following are four general styles employed by parents.

Authority: Authoritarian parents rule on just that: authority. Commands are given to children that they must follow regardless of the circumstances. If these commands are not followed, harsh punishment will ensue. These parents do not welcome feedback from their children. In fact, it is met with severe punishment. The children tend to be quiet and unhappy. They have more of a fear than a love for their parents. Male children have trouble dealing with anger and female children have trouble facing adversity due to their heavily structured life where nothing ever changes.

Indulgent: Indulgent parents tend to be described as lenient. They allow immature and childish behavior. These parents expect the children to learn from their mistakes and to fend for themselves in most times of need. These parents tend to be democratic and allow for feedback from there children on issues. They will hear both sides of an argument and usually make a compromise. Indulgent parents usually avoid confrontation with their children by all means, but do tend to be more involved and emotionally closer to their children.

Authoritative: Authoritative parents are a combination of the two styles previously mentioned. They are the happy medium. While expecting proper behavior from their children, they welcome feedback and questioning on certain issues. They're able to demand things of their children but are also able to respond to what they're child says, questions and requests. These children tend to be the happiest, most confident and self assured of all the mentioned parenting styles. It is very difficult to be a purely authoritative parent.

Passive: Passive parenting is being completely uninvolved. These parents may never be home due to immaturity, work or the like. These children are usually raised by grandparents, older siblings, babysitters or themselves. There is no parental involvement at all.

We wish you many happy stories!

What You Can Expect From 7 To 9-Months-Old Babies

Now that your little angel has reached 7 months old. Time goes by so fast that you don't realize your baby is now able to sit upright without your support or even her own hands. Wow, that must be an incredible feeling seeing her grow so instantly.

For parents of 7 to 9-months-old babies, what else can you find in their physical growths? Well, every baby is not the same. One may have earlier development from the others.

For example, your friend's baby was able to start crawling when he was 8 months old, while yours could do it when she was seven and a half months.

On the other hand, the first baby started teething when he was 6 months old, whereas yours did it when she was 9 months.

So, you really need not to be anxious about your baby's development. She will reach the stage.

What you need to pay attention to is your baby's developmental milestone. This means she should be able to do certain things at particular ages.

It's best for you to make some notes on your baby's growth, such as writing all her new skills in an online diary. If you do not want to miss any of your baby's growths, writing the journal will be very exciting.

Adding up cute photos when new things happen will also be a wonderful endeavor. Later on, you'll thank yourself for keeping the memories online as you can see it anytime anywhere. Add up the joy by sharing the site to friends and families.

Now let's go back to the previous topic. If you're a first-time parent, you probably still have a little idea about your baby's development.

Below is a milestone you can use as your guideline. If your baby isn't on her track or doesn't reach many of the stages mentioned here, you may consult it with your baby's pediatrician.

Here are some of the milestones for 7 to 9-months-old baby:

1. Sitting upright without support
2. Crawling
3. Teething
4. Babbling
5. Passing things from hand to hand
6. Standing up by holding onto something
7. Waving hands
8. Clapping hands
9. Turning heads when someone calls her
10. Holding her bottles
11. Picking objects up with pincer (thumb-finger) grasp
12. Testing your responses to her behavior
13. Able to distinguish people she knows and strangers
14. Cruising while holding onto the wall or other furniture

The older your baby, the more skills she may have. If your baby is not able to do some of these things, don't worry too much. It does not mean a problem. She'll reach the phase in the perfect time, soon.

Baby Showers for Adoptive Parents

We all hear about baby showers for expecting parents, but what about for adopting parents? An adoption baby shower is more than acceptable - it's encouraged! Adopting parents have the same needs as any other new parents would, but with a few minor considerations.

You should steer clear of planning a surprise celebration on the day the family brings their child home. This can be a very emotional time - the new parents and child (especially if the child is older) will need a period of adjustment. It is very important to be sensitive to their needs. In this case, delivering care packages and planning your celebration for a later date would be acceptable and appreciated. Be sure to talk with the new parents and find out what their wants and needs are before you set a shower date.

Your shower invitations should be sent out three to four weeks in advance, and should include the time, date, and location of the shower. Don't forget to set an RSVP date with your telephone number and address. If it is at all possible, include the child's birth date, as well as when he or she was officially adopted or welcomed into the home of his or her new parents. This will help your guests to pick age appropriate gifts. In the case of foreign adoptions, you could also add information about the birth country to inform your guests.

As with other baby showers, the theme for an adoption baby shower should be the same. However, if the child that was adopted is older, you should tailor your party to suit their age and favorite things. For example, a small girl might love everything that involves the Disney princesses and may go absolutely crazy over the color pink. In turn, an older boy may be fascinated by soccer and anything green. Don't be afraid to be a little creative to help make the party a special celebration to welcome the new child into your circle of family and friends!

Baby shower games are important too! However, stay away from games that are maternity-related. It's very important that you keep in mind that you are celebrating the gift of adoption. Your games help set the tone of the party, and should be mixed in with any other activity going on. An average shower lasts about two hours, so look at playing two to three party games. If the new parents are adopting an older child, make sure your games reflect that as well. One great adoption party activity is to organize a Welcome Book for the new child. Ask guests to bring pictures of themselves and their families to assemble into a scrapbook page they will create at the shower.

All of your shower decorations will naturally depend on the style, theme, and number of people attending. Balloons and streamers are standard, but there are a lot of creative and fun ideas to make the party extra-special. You're truly only limited by your imagination here.

If the adoption is an international one, you could use decorations that reflect the child's place of birth, and include recipes from his or her home country. For guests, it will be a learning experience.
As with decorations, party favors should match your shower theme and party size. Your favors can be used as place settings, prizes, or they can be handed out at the end of the party. A very popular idea for adoption showers is a special program for guests to keep. Written inside should be commitments to the child from his or her new parents, poems about love, family, and adoption, and prayers for the future.
When labeling your favor, keep in mind that your party is, again, in honor of an adoption, not a birth. Your wording on gift tags should reflect that.

Adoption is a very exciting time for the new parents. A baby shower or welcome party allows friends and family members to share in on the family's joy. When you host or even attend such a party, it is very important to know the needs and wants of the parents. Be sure to know ahead of time how old the child is. Find out if the parents have registered anywhere. Parents who are adopting should be reminded that they can actually register for older children as well as newborns.

By planning and hosting an adoption party, you are helping the new family formalize the acceptance of their child into their circle. You will be creating an occasion that will be documented for the child to look at in the future and remind them how much they were welcomed and loved from the start.

Understanding Autism In Children

Do you know autism affects male children four times more than female children? The characteristic feature of autism in children includes non-verbal and impaired verbal communication. In addition to this the autism in children creates imaginative social interaction and activity. Infantile autism in children develops at about 30 months of age. Autism in children is a condition in which they find it difficult to build normal relationships with others. This can easily be diagnosed by disturbances normal characteristic behaviors.

It has been found that autism in children is occurring at a rate of 4 in 10,000 children. Moreover, autism in children is considered a lifelong disease. The occurrence of the disease ranges from mild to severe. In mild form, the child with autism can live independently, whereas in severe form the autism requires medical supervision and support throughout his/her life.

The risk factors and causes of autism include viral infection. Viral infection, mainly rubella virus during the first term of pregnancy, may predispose the occurrence of autism in children. Genetic, traumatic and infectious factors are the physical bases considered to be the main culprits for the occurrence of autism in children. In early stages, it has been considered that the autism in children is mainly induced by the parents, but it is not true.

Autism in children can occur in two forms: Patients exhibit the symptoms of autism within the first few months of life, or the child would be apparently normal up to 18 to 24 months of age, and then the symptoms would occur suddenly.

The symptoms of autism in children include nonverbal and verbal communication skills, along with odd facial expressions and speech difficulties. The language used by the children in the autism is often immature, unimaginative and not concrete. The language will be stilted in nature. Keep in mind that all of these symptoms may not be present in all children with autism.

Children with autism can also be less aware of stimulus in the external environment. In some cases, they are unable to recognize their parents after the first few months of life. Autism in children can lead to toilet training problems. The autism in children can hamper the child's ability to smile and show emotion and can end with behavioral abnormalities, such as walking on tiptoe, tantrums, unpredictable behavior, strange postures, staring at hands, and rocking.

They may also prefer playing alone, remain aloof, and become segregated from other children. Autism in children may cause the affected child to become obsessed with one action or topic, and extreme confrontation to change of any kind. The children with autism may want to set a separate environment for themselves and also may establish their own behavioral patterns.

The Importance of Baby Sleep

All living creatures need sleep. Sleeping gives people and all living creatures the time for the body to recuperate and regenerate. Lion's needs 16 to 18 hours of sleep, while primates, ten to twelve hours of sleep. Humans need on average six to eight hours sleep to rejuvenate. Human babies need a full eight hours of sleep and naps in between.

The body uses sleep as a way to regenerate cells and refresh the brain and overall aids in the development of our body, mind, and health. During our sleep, the human body can regenerate hair follicles, fingernails, toenails and even the outer covering of the skin. This happens because of the automatic pilot that is built into our bodies. People tend to think that the body only needs to recharge spent energy on the day's work but in truth the body works the regeneration cycle much faster when the brain does not control much action.

Babies therefore need their sleeping time to develop muscles, limbs, and skeletal structure. In order to achieve a good night's sleep for your baby, it is important that your baby have comfortable and inviting bedding. The secret to a good bed is one that feels just right. Beds that are to big may make your little one feel insecure. Your baby's bed should be cozy and offer security for them to get a good night sleep. Selecting the proper bedding should also be a concern. The bedding should be easy to touch and feel cozy. Bedding that is to stiff or even to fluffy decreases your baby's comfort level and therefore reduces his/her sleep time. We would want our babies to enjoy their beds and consider it a place of security.

Try to make your baby's sleeping experience a pleasant one. Bedding should be inviting to the eye. There are so many wonderful patterns and fabrics on the market today that choosing the right bedding should not be to difficult. Remember that your baby needs enough rest to stimulate his/her growth and development and when this is achieved, your baby can reach his full potential.

Mommy & Baby: Weight Gain & Failure To Thrive

A guide to appropriate weight-gain and what to look for if you suspect failure-to-thrive:

Weight Gain:

Birth – 2 weeks of age
 Regain birth weight plus some
2 weeks – 3 months of age
 Two pounds per month or one ounce per day
4 – 6 months of age
 One pound per month or one-half ounce per day (should double birth weight by 6 months)
One year of age
 2.5 to 3 times her birth weight


Failure to Thrive:

There is a difference between slow weight gain and failure to thrive. With slow weight gain, the gain is consistent. With failure to thrive, you will see a baby who continues to lose weight after 10 days of life, does not regain her birth weight by three weeks of age, or gains at an unusually slow rate beyond the first month of life. Things to watch for from the mother's and baby's side include:

Mother's side
 Improper nursing technique (poor latch-on, etc.)
 Nature or lifestyle (not enough sleep, liquids, nutritional foods, etc.)
 Poor release of milk (related to let-down)
 Feeding too frequently (this can give the baby an abundance of foremilk and a lack of hindmilk; the latter of which is nutritionally and calorie rich)
 Feeding too infrequently (being a slave to the clock)
 Not monitoring growth signs
 Physical nurturing, holding, and cuddling

Infant's side
 Weak sucking
 Improper sucking
o Tongue-thrusting, pushing the nipple out of her mouth
o Protruding tongue, her tongue will form a hump in her mouth, interfering with latching on
o Tongue-sucking, she sucks her own tongue and not on the nipple
 An underlying medical problem (if you suspect something, talk to your pediatrician immediately)

Getting the help you need

Lactation consultants can be very helpful in resolving issues related to latching on or inverted nipples, both of which can cause a problem with nursing. Allow the consultant to observe your baby nursing and note if there are problems in position, latching, or something else. Do not permit the consultant to dissuade you from your flexible routine if that's what you've decided to do for your family. Remember: if flexible routines were unhealthy, NICUs wouldn't use them for the most vulnerable of babies-preemies.

If you determine that your nursing difficulties cannot be solved or are more stressful on you as mommy than what you need, do not feel guilty about switching to a bottle. It is more important that your baby receive nutrition to grow and thrive than to fit someone else's ideal of motherhood.

The Truth About Birth Trauma Every Mother Should Know

Most people take birth trauma for granted, thinking it means the unavoidably compressive, difficult journey through the birth canal that we all wish could be easier. What is not generally known is that the pressures of birth and the interactions required of mother and child for delivery are fundamental to health. The development of the baby's cranium is supported by the effort required for birth, and the newborn arrives with knowledge of what it means to partner with mom to win the race in the celebration of life.

There are times, of course, when compressive obstacles during birth are not positive, resulting in difficulties and even injuries. Birth trauma can also mean many other things, including that which is avoidable. Not all birth trauma has to happen. There are standard birthing room procedures in place in many hospitals today that actually contribute to creating birth traumas that are completely unnecessary.

Bright lights, loud noises, unfamiliar voices and cold temperatures are shocking for newborns that have lived in a warm, fluid environment where light and sound are diffused by a protective, maternal shield. The unborn child has spent nine months learning about mom and how to recognize her. To be separated from mother is the ultimate birth trauma. Indeed, this disappointment surpasses the definition of trauma and is more accurately labeled as shock.

Another source of overwhelming trauma is cutting the umbilical cord before it stops pulsing. Dr. Frederick Leboyer, writing about the 25th edition of his book BIRTH WITHOUT VIOLENCE comments on this subject: "What should we do during these critical few minutes of the transition of the blood from the old route through the placenta to the newly working lungs? We must understand that Nature herself doesn't take sudden leaps and has her own pace. She has left this time; these last few minutes, so that this changeover from one world to another can be made with ease."

Birth trauma is also created by what precedes it. "We are nine months old at birth," says pediatrician Tony Lipson. We are born with the memory of our experiences in the womb, though that memory is thoroughly somatic. Prenatal history contains chapters of unacknowledged personal experiences that are formative for every aspect of health. Prenatal life is an epic tale of challenge and survival that includes struggle, loss and victory, as well as profound learning.

The fetus learns primarily through movement, and through what can be perceived and heard from within the mother's body. Long term studies conducted by American, Canadian and European researchers show that in-utero behavior is replicated post-natally. These memories are displayed in play, illness, sleep patterns, dreams, and, of course, relationships. It is now clear that what the prenate, and the neonate, learn promotes (or discourages) later bonding and attachment.

The fetal nervous system evolves delicately and responsively during gestation, like ornate filigree on an elegant necklace. It is this finely wrought nervous system that sorts information and ultimately determines the time of birth. The final decision making process initiates at least three weeks prior to the onset of labor. The fetus evaluates, through its hormonal sensation, the optimal moment for launching postnatal life. It must assess the degree of its own physiological maturation to make this critical decision. Disregarding this decision contributes to birth trauma

Birth marks the end of gestational hibernation and the sighting of the springtime of a new world. The stress of labor invites an outpouring of adrenaline that, surprisingly, serves to stabilize and calm the baby. This catecholamine power surge lasts for hours after birth, protecting the baby from danger. Given the brilliance of this perfect design, why interfere with Mother Nature unless life is threatened?

The hormonal arousal of birth promotes the parent-infant bonding that, we now know, is essential for the unfolding of post-gestational neurology. When we unnecessarily disrupt this process, we create birth traumas that play out for a lifetime of health and learning struggles. Immediately behind the ridge of the eyebrows lies the prefrontal cortex (the prefrontal lobes), the largest and most recent of brain additions. It plays a role in language development, interacting with the temporal lobes located on either side of the neocortex. The prefrontals evolve in two stages, the first of which is the immediate post-natal period. The second stage is during adolescence, at about age fifteen.

In the early period of prefrontal development, these lobes serve an integrative function, allowing the neonate to slowly absorb the powerful drama of birth. This lays the groundwork for later prefrontal development. However, further evolution is only possible if nurturing is received at birth through consistent eye contact with a primary caregiver and loving touch. Anything else is birth trauma.

Human development occurs in stages that are windows of opportunity. Prenatal life is a house of windows, and the birth experience is a window to the world. These windows open on a predetermined schedule that assures a precise pattern of neurological maturation. When prenatal and birth trauma occur, these windows do not close completely. Rather they remain slightly or partially ajar. If unattended to, however, these windows become impossibly sticky and extremely difficult to open.

What is needed to open such windows is the kind of stimulation that should have occurred originally. Touch, awareness and consistent, unwavering attention create an awakening of possibility. Love has to be infused through connective tissue that will communicate via the spinal cord to the basal ganglia, setting off a relay of responses throughout the brain. As brain structures respond, changes occur.

Treatment for birth trauma is most effective when it is employed as soon as possible after the trauma occurs. The longer the wait, the more prolonged the recovery process. The TARA Approach, a subtle energy medicine system of healing, has specific designs for treating birth trauma in infants, children and adults. TARA treatment designs incorporate neurological and embryological awareness and use subtle touch along with other non-invasive modalities. The emphasis is on self-care. The TARA Approach is an empowerment based, non-pharmaceutical healing system, oriented towards self-pacing. It is one of the few treatment programs that focus on birth trauma, and can be extremely healing in a great variety of situations.