Many fathers feel excluded from parenting their children during the
first initial stages of life. This feeling of exclusion and helplessness
is exacerbated by mother breastfeeding her baby. So, can a father get
more involved when it comes to feeding his baby? The answer is, yes.
The
number one thing a dad can do to get involved is to support mom. At
times, both parents will feel very tired when caring for the newborn
infant, the mother especially. This is why it's so important for the dad
to support mom. So, exactly how does dad provide support? The most
obvious thing to do is chores: preparing meals, cleaning house, laundry
etc. He can also directly help take care of the baby by changing its
diaper, bathing and burbing. But the most important thing he can do is
to provide emotional support. To listen to what his partner is saying
and to let her know how pleased he is with her as a mother. A new mother
needs support at this time of life more than at any other time.
A
dad can also get involved with feeding his child, even though mom is
breastfeeding. A mother can express her milk and store it for later use.
The baby can then be fed mom's milk with a bottle at a later time. No
reason why dad can't do this. In fact it can be a real benefit to the
mother during those nighttime feeds as she can stay in bed and catch up
on some sleep while dad does the feeding.
Breastfeeding can be a
'selfish' activity for a mother. A lot of women who breastfeed, cherish
the intimacy between mom and baby. Breastfeeding can be the most
intimate experience for a woman; a physical bond between two people
where one is nurturing the other in the most fundamental way. So, it's
understandable that some mothers are reluctant to hand over feeding of
their baby to someone else, even if it is the baby's father. But, if the
father is feeling somewhat left-out-of-things then perhaps it's time to
let the father bottle feed the baby with the mother's expressed milk.
The level of intimacy they feel toward their baby when feeding surprises
most fathers.
A be patient with dad. When he first starts to bottle feed his
child he is bound to feel a little unsure of how best to do things. Show
him how to hold the baby; how to soothe; how to notice signs of when
the baby is hungry and when he's satiated. Soon, with a little gentle
instruction, he'll be feeding baby as good as mom. And, he'll probably
exchange notes with mom on the little improvements the baby is making at
feeding time.
A couple raising a child need to approach it as a
team effort. Sometimes, both mom and dad do things together and
sometimes they swap roles. Flexibility is key. When one of the parents
is feeling too tired, or fed up to take care of baby, the other can step
in, thereby giving the other a rest. This swapping and sharing
responsibilities can also include breastfeeding.
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